Assisting couples in strengthening or saving their most intimate relationship is an honor. Couples therapy can be challenging for the couple, but can be a terrific investment in future satisfaction. I will work with both of you to help you identify ways you can change to become a more effective partner. When working with couples, I often borrow heavily from John Gottman and the Gottman Institute’s work because it is very research based and they know a lot about what works and what doesn’t with couples. I also utilize a couples’ developmental model from Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson of the Couples Institute in California. I find their model to be theoretically sound and very helpful in assisting couples to hold on to themselves while they reach out to their partner. I will provide you with information along the way to help you understand how couples get stuck and how to gradually work to manage differences and increase satisfaction. Along the way, I teach couples about how their brains work, about some gender differences, sexuality, and other factors that really affect couples. These things are important to understand because they reduce self and other blame while increasing hope and setting realistic expectations.
Sometimes couples are feeling so stuck or hopeless that one or both partners may not even be sure they want to stay together. If that is the case, I will work with you to help you decide. Sometimes that means working on the relationship for a while to see if you can experience growth and change in the direction you wish to see. It also may mean helping you figure out what you must have in a relationship and where you can be flexible. Sometimes it might mean figuring out some ways in which you might need to grow individually in order to be fully in a relationship.